Yesterday I sucked at being adult and a human being! I came home from my holiday feeling challenged by some parts of it; feeling unwell and with a broken tooth that has rubbed the inside of my cheek raw! I took it out on those around me! I totally sucked. I was hurtful and dismissive and nasty and cruel. I wanted to hurt and I did. Why? I have no idea why! After months of working on the new story inside my head, I reverted to the old one and it felt so comfortable and it still fit so well, I just embraced that old story and I published it – full volume. There are no paragraphs in this post because there were no paragraphs in what I said or how I said it yesterday. I was a freight train … running out of control. I am ashamed. I have regret. I am sorry. Today, the repair needs to begin. I need to forgive myself for that train but I also need to own it because I could see what was happening but I allowed it to escalate anyway. Today, I tell myself that this is not the end. Just another glitch in the story, all be it a rather big one. If I can forgive myself, I can then ask forgiveness from others because words can not be forgotten – only forgiven.