I went to the movies yesterday – alone! I don’t mind going to the movies alone because then I can immerse myself in the whole experience and formulate my own opinion of the story, without having to think about if the person I went with is enjoying / not enjoying it. I like to feel the movies I go to – so I cry, laugh out loud, sigh, gasp, sing along and hold my breath. If I am with someone else, I tend to internalize those feelings and often don’t want to talk afterwards which isn’t very sociable!
I was having a quiet weekend with non stop junk TV and computer games and felt like I needed to get out of the house for a bit. I actually planned it the night before and bought my ticket online so that I wouldn’t back out! Thanks mind for tricking yourself into doing good things!!
So I went to experience the movie “Wild”. I came out thinking – terrifyingly inspirational!
In many ways, Wild is my worst nightmare. I struggle with walking along the street and cannot begin to comprehend walking the Pacific Crest Trail in the USA. But in just as many ways, this is a movie I had to see. It is about struggle and loss and self-destruction but it is also about healing and self-awareness and discovery and redemption. These are things I have to think about and be inspired and motivated by! Cheryl Strayed‘s journey may not be my journey but it certainly encourages me to look at alternative ways to challenge and heal myself by spending time alone without the clutter of life’s busyness.
To let you in on a secret, I had already been well and truly challenged this week! I had a house guest for a couple of days and she had been at a healing retreat for 5 days, where they only served raw vegan food!! Ms S arrived with 3 boxes of organic fruit and veg, chick pea flour, chia seeds and coconut milk – with a cheery – I’m here to
cook or not cook for you for the next 2 days!
Her enthusiasm was infectious …. most of the time. But I did become concerned when she began to look up similar retreats in all parts of the world – for me to attend!! So that I too, could really feel fantastic like she was!! She had also, fairly recently, completed a 6 week healing walk in Europe, with her adult children!! Her sense of accomplishment was incredible and something that she wished I too, could feel!!
Two massive walk challenges thrown down at me in the one week? Terrifyingly inspirational! Were the heavens conspiring against me? Have you seen my legs and feet? Finding my OWN challenge is the message I chose!! For so long, my challenges have been shaped by others. It is time to uncover my own pathway to accomplishment and most importantly – see it through. I have no idea what my challenge is – yet. But as I head into my 56th year, I feel terrifyingly inspired to find something for myself that will challenge, heal and give ME that sense of accomplishment, when completed! Even writing that down scares me. Writing it is kinda like a committment! Saying it out loud! Others will now be watching. But as I say to my therapist – if I lie to you, I’m really only lying to myself!
So I am at the beginning of discovering my thing. My challenge! My journey! In the past I have allowed things to just happen to me. I have been mindlessly living my life, only making decisions when I need to. Mindfulness is a concept that I have rejected in the past as too hard. But it is necessary for me to embrace fully, if I intend to find my thing!
So thank you Cheryl Strayed and Reese Witherspoon and Ms S …. Terrifyingly Inspirational!
“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it.” – Erada